


The Good In Beautiful

by CandleLad



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-25 19:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20729708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandleLad/pseuds/CandleLad
Summary: The Process is a lot like having a garden. Her Process was a lot like The Garden.





	The Good In Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> This is essentially a story about Spinel's journey through recovery in trauma with some Spinearl weaved into it. Please leave comments, they really encourage me to write more. :)

_ “What is beautiful is good, and who is good should be beautiful,” _

_ Sappho _

Six-thousand-two-hundred years, five months, two weeks. That’s how long it had been. One may find themselves feeling antsy after being unattended to after a while, so she had started counting the days. Smiling into a cold vacuum, awaiting for arrival that was never to be. She could pinpoint the last second to when she received the message. 

She couldn’t recount exactly how she felt, as she tried to distance herself from the whole event in an effort to better herself. Not that it would help any, heavens, no. Still, her mind often wandered to the garden on good and bad days. She couldn’t just forget it after all. Bad days were part of the healing process. Telling herself she was worthy of meaningful relationships felt empty, but she still tried it. That’s how change works. 

“Change isn’t always quick, Spinel,” Steven had told her, picking up a leaf,”it’s like going from summer to autumn, it’s a process.”

She supposed Steven was trying to help her better grasp it by comparing her trauma to seasons; but it wasn’t that simple. She was here, but sometimes her head was in the garden. The garden was a painful reminder and mocking parallel to her life, a place once admired for all the things that had made it great, had grown disheveled and withered. The process was a lot like having a garden.

She tried her best, but she wasn’t a botanist by any means. 

* * *

She called it “The Pink room”. It was technically hers, but not really. Spinel was never in that room unless there was someone else with her. It reminded her too much of Pink. When she wasn’t being mothered, she instead hung around the community gardens. 

The community gardens were a place, mostly (inspired by Earth’s scenery) that were more or less the same than their Earthly counterparts. They were filled with flowers, bursting with color every turn you took. Gems took care of the garden, chatted in the garden, played by the garden, or met up with fellow gems in the garden. If you would like to take a leisurely stroll through a nice place or make friends, the Gardens was the go-to.

Making friends, so it seemed, was incredibly hard for her. Real friends anyway. Of course, many gems had humored her juggling, jokes, and other antics, but she didn’t consider them friends. A friend was someone you could talk to about how you feel, or someone you could laugh with, despite their jokes not even being that funny. Spinel really needed a friend right now. But she decided to let sleeping dogs lie, if a gem wanted to be a real friend, then they would. So days flew by, and new gems came and went.

However, on one particular day, something changed. Something new.

As Spinel walked through the garden, something felt...lonely, and it wasn’t herself this time. All the gems that had been here the previous days were gone, and an empty garden was all that was left in its' place. She felt a pang of familiarity, however she couldn’t deny that she had distanced herself from these gems so much that it had hardly felt like abandonment. Getting close to others meant opening up, and look where that had gotten her. Her friendship with Steven was “on the rocks” to say the least, and he was the only person she had ever opened up to in her entire life. 

She suddenly wanted to go back to the palace. 

She strolled through the garden carelessly, her footsteps exhibiting low squeaks as she trudged on through the lonely garden, She was trying to find her way out, but every corner seemed to look exactly the same as the last. The same shiny pathway, constructed surely of the finest materials, waxed to perfection. Every time she glanced down it was practically like looking into a mirror. Underestimating the slickness of the floor she began to pick up the pace. 

Unfortunately for her, a gem that had also been lingering around in the garden had gotten the exact same idea. Many friendships are made unintentionally, foundations being built upon mishaps and jokes. Some friendships are formed upon the foundations of empathy and moral support

The pearl had slipped and fell at the same time Spinel reared a corner. The two dazed gems collected themselves. 

“Yowsers...” Spinel groaned dramatically, her eyes bouncing left to right. 

She shook her head, brought herself to her knees and took a good look at the gem she had barreled into. The pearl had hot pink hair, light skin, and a long crack down her right eye. Her gem was on her navel. She donned dark pink gloves and leggings, complete with the usual signature pearl ballet flats. Spinel wouldn’t think about the rest of her apparel until later, however. She caught herself staring right into her light pink eyes; contrary to her own hot pink ones. 

“Ow, my head…” The pink gem trailed off, rubbing her eye(s?). There was something innocent about her. It wasn’t like she was naive exactly, as her right eye contradicted. She just seemed so effortlessly kind without saying as much as three words (did ‘ow’ count as a word?). 

Maybe Spinel was painting a picture way too fast. Idealization was another area she needed to work on. She glanced at the pearl’s dainty hands. Her face flushed a dark pink. 

“Uh,” She began, “I-I didn’t mean-,” Spinel trailed off, she didn’t know what to say. Talking to a gem had never made her flush this much before. Unless she counted the time where she had been flushed with rage towards Pink Diamond and her son, but this...this was...different. Spinel’s face flushed darker when the pearl had risen to her feet and offered her a hand. 

_ Is there something wrong with me? _

The pearl gracefully brought herself to her knees, finally looking up at Spinel. She hadn’t noticed it before, but she was the only gem she had come across in this particular garden. 

“It’s quite alright, it seems like everyone is in a big rush to get out of here with me around,” she sighed. Spinel couldn't pinpoint it, but there was an odd familiarity in the way she said those words. 

Spinel cocked her head in confusion,“What are you talking about?” 

“Oh!” She began, “I don’t mean to be upfront, but it seems as if everyone is trying to avoid me,” she babbled on. The way she talked reminded Spinel of all the worst parts about being lonely. She avoided her eyes, fidgeting with her hands, constantly looking for approval. The pearl began to ramble, “ I know it’s strange to say this to a total stranger but you’re the only person who’s stuck around without turning the other direction.” She laughed nervously. 

“I know exactly how you feel,” Spinel uttered back, “if it means anything, I’ll stay and talk to you if you’d like.” She finished that last sentence quietly, not sure if she had overstepped herself. Although they had barely exchanged a few words, Spinel wanted to believe that this may be her big break in regards to friendships. So when the pearl brightened up, her hope’s sky rocketed, and the sleeping dogs stirred. 

It was now her new acquaintance’s turn to blush. “You’re not obligated to or anything,” she said, “but yes that would be just lovely.” The pearl brushed a stray hair out of her face, her hand falling down and now resting on her cheek in an ill attempt to hide the pink in her pale face. 

The flowers around Spinel were bright pink alstroemerias, the stems curling around marble pillars. As her sympathy for this gem transitioned to a general admiration, a thought suddenly occurred to her. And so the process had reared it’s ugly head. 

_ Oh geez. I really don’t want this to be a filler friendship. _

Spinel rarely had any intentions of getting close to anyone, at least in this way. The diamond’s were different. They were...well...the diamonds. Her support through recovery, a home she could go to when she felt like the loneliest gem in the world. Their relationship wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was...getting there. She had tagged along an awful lot in meetings. Essentially, they were more like a new family than new friends. 

Her thoughts were interrupted. “You know, I’ve never seen a cut like yours before,” the pearl observed, “what kind of gem are you?”

“Oh! I’m Spinel,” she said, “and to who do I owe the pleasure to meeting?” She said that last part with a hint of laughter and the wiggle of eyebrows. The pearl giggled.

“I’m a pearl obviously, but you can call me Peep,” she replied, “charmed, I’m sure.” Her voice flowed like honey, sweet and smooth. Spinel wasn’t sure whether or not Peep was the one charmed here. She held out her hand, an invitation and a promise. 

They shook hands and parted ways. The process was now far away, for all that Spinel wanted to focus on at the moment had shifted to her new friend. She knew in the back of her head that using the word ‘friend’ so early was setting herself up for failure, but she needed this. She needed this win. 

The pathway to the palace was lined with gold, and recently added bushes. The palace itself was not too much ways away. It was visible from miles away, using cylinder skyscrapers, the palace was many buildings connected together. Many colorful flowers, (also recently added) dotted the premises. Earthly influence was scattered all throughout Homeworld’s architecture, so it seemed. 

The subtle squeak of her shoes echoed down the hall as she made her way back to the main hall, where she had left the diamonds to discuss other matters. Spinel’s eyes occasionally glanced at the muriels on the walls, of which depicted the diamond’s and their many triumphs. The tall walls loomed high above her head. 

She was heading towards The Grand Hall, the main room of the palace. She came to a halt as she reached a door at the end of the corridor she was walking from. Voices echoed behind the wall. Spinel pushed the button, and waltzed on in. The Diamonds were crowded around one another, and scattered as she did a cartwheel into the middle of the room. 

“Ta-da!” She shouted, “I’ve made my grand appearance.” She smiled in a way that crept up on you, and make you want to laugh and play right along with her. Spinel’s smiles were contagious, to say the least, and her fun personality seemed to wrap it all together into one hilarious fun gift. 

Yellow Diamond was affected by this contagious smile, and so her lips twitched upwards, Blue and White following right behind her. The three diamonds absolutely adored her, and they weren’t shy of letting Spinel know that. Showering her with adoration and love. Though they were not perfect, they were learning how to heal. It was their own process. But with processes, comes a few mess ups. The bad days are just as important in changing for the better than the good days. 

“Spinel, how goofy of you to make an entrance like that, positively grand indeed!”

“Oh how silly!” Blue backed up “you know, you should be careful doing that kind of stuff in The Grand Hall, especially since-”

She never got to finish that sentence, however, because the booming voice of White Diamond dominated the conversation. When she spoke, no one could ignore her. 

“-especially because we have something absolutely, indefinitely most wonderful planned for you!” White finished for them, clearly impatient. They were now bending down now, trying to get as eye-level with Spinel as best as their abilities would allow them, nearly knocking over a podium in the same few motions. 

“Spinel,” Blue Diamond said, captivating her attention, “we know that you’re not Pink, and that you are not used to very...big gestures, but we feel as if this is the best way to show what it’s like to be apart of our...family.” She smiled warmly, she was twiddling with her hands, as if she were waiting for an answer. 

“Oh, well um-”

“We’re hosting a ball, in the name of your arrival!” White Diamond loudly announced, bursting into a wide, classy grin. She said the word ball with loud declaration, rolling her hands out wide afterwards. She waited for Spinel’s answer expectantly, beaming at her. 

Spinel flipped back to her normal stance quicker than lightning. Her eyes bounced from each Diamond, expecting them to laugh and play it off. That did not happen. Instead, she stood, her mouth gaping wide at them. 

“What?”


End file.
